Too Many Rules | Get Back To Better

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- Are you feeling pressure? Me too.

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If religious pressure is too much,

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work pressure is too much school,

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family, society, air pressure,

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all the pressures is too much

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then you're in the right place.

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I'm Kyle, Online Community Pastor here at Crossroads,

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and it's my job to equip you for

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the adventurous life that God has made you for.

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Today my friend and mentor, Brian, is going

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to tell us about the pressure and rules,

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where they come from and how to deal with it all

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just a little bit better.

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One thing we never want you

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to feel pressure around is giving.

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Here we make the call as a community

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to be obedient to God,

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and for us that looks like giving.

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If you want to try it with no pressure attached,

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we have something called The Tithe Test.

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It's pretty simple.

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You try tithing for 90 days

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and if at the end of those 90 days

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you don't feel more of God in your life,

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we'll give you all of your money back.

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Now I know hundreds of people who have done

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The Tithe Test.

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By the way, if you're one of them, way to go.

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If you sent in a prayer request,

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I want you to know that I'm praying for you.

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And if you want to sign up for that today,

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just go to Crossroads.net/giving.

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Here's Brian.

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- You know, rules are really important,

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especially as it relates to deodorant.

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I'm showing a little bit right now and urinals.

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Ladies, let me give you a secret.

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Guys, let me get something really, really clear.

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When you go into the men's bathroom,

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urinal selection is critical,

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and that means there must always be

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a space between you and the next -- not space.

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No, I mean, entire urinal space

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between you and the next person.

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And on top of that, if you have to be right beside

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the person or right beside me

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because it's a very crowded bathroom, that's OK.

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You just can't look at me.

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Don't look at me. Don't look. No, no.

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You look straight ahead into that ceramic tile

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as if it contained the recipe

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for turning dust into gold dust.

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Never make eye contact, ever.

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Rules are a good thing, but they can also be

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an entirely overwhelming thing.

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In the beginning of our series Back to Better,

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this is the end of our series.

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Want to go back to the verse I used

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at the very beginning of the series.

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We're not trying to get back to normal.

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We're trying to get back to better.

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We're not trying to get back to the way things were.

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We're trying to say wherever I am right now,

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what's better?

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And we looked at this verse and I'm going to look

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at it and even more depth today.

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It comes to the Book of Matthew 11.

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It's what Jesus says.

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Whenever I read that I just kind of go,

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"Ahh, it's so good. Ahh, it's really good."

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Here's what many people don't understand

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about this verse.

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Sometimes you read the verse in the Bible,

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you have to pick out certain words and emphasize them.

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If we read this verse emphasizing my and I,

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it sounds totally different.

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Take my yoke upon you.

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Learn from me.

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When we emphasize those words we see that

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He's actually differentiating himself

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from other religious leaders.

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This is massive. Massive.

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Many of us have seen old depictions of Moses

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coming down from Mt. Sinai, bringing the law,

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the Ten Commandments, the law of God down to the people.

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You've seen it or you've heard of it.

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He comes down with these stone tablets

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and that's known as the the written law.

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That's the stuff that's in the Bible.

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It's written down.

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God gave it to Moses, written down.

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But in Judaism, there's two laws.

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There's the written law and there is the oral law.

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You might have heard of different

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rabbinical schools of thought or this rabbi says this

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or that Rabbi says that.

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What that is coming from is that the Jews believe

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that Moses also was told things by God

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and Moses then brought these oral instructions down

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that weren't actually written down in the stone,

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and he passed those on to the next generation

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who passed on the next generation and so on and so on.

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That's why these rabbinical schools of thought,

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they're able to say,

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"Look, we heard this stuff came straight from Moses.

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We got this.

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That guy over there didn't get it."

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And that's why there's differences of opinion in that.

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So you can imagine, if you think it's hard

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to follow all the things in the Bible,

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if now layered on top of that there's

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a bunch of things that aren't in the Bible,

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but are just important and we're given to Moses.

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Now you've got even a more oppressive system

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that guts on you.

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I don't want to get back to normal.

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I don't want to go back to Mt. Sinai

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and have even more laws and more rules.

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The truth is right now, I believe, in America,

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in our culture we have more rules

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than we've ever had before.

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The truth is, it's understandable that we're tired

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and we're weary and we're overburdened because

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our culture keeps putting more

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and more expectations on us.

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It just doesn't end.

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I have behind me here a whole bunch of things,

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just buckets of rules and expectations

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that you and I are supposed to keep,

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the culture tells us we're supposed to keep,

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that are nowhere in the Bible,

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not written down anywhere.

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There's nothing in the Bible --

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Well, there is something about work,

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but there's not a lot about about work.

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There's nothing the Bible tells you

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about what your road trip rule is supposed to be like,

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how it's supposed to behave on a road trip

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or fortunately, not in a urinal.

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A lot of these things, they're important,

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and as I go through these, I'm not saying

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that these rules or these maybe principles

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don't have some health, that they don't have some value.

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I just want us to see,

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in a way that you might not have ever seen before,

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you cannot do and I cannot do

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everything culture expects us to do

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that isn't really all that important to God.

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Let's start off here.

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Let's just start with this one here, the physical one.

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Oh, goodness.

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Of course, the physical one is the incredible heavy one.

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The physical one.

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God cares about our bodies. I agree.

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He doesn't care about it as much as we do,

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or at least not as much as some of us do.

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Think about the rules that are given us

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about your physical fitness.

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Not many of us may do these things,

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but it's put on you all the time and you may not do it.

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How many times a week are supposed to work out.

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When you work out, make sure you do cardio

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after weight resistance or make sure --

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I found this one on just the other day.

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You've got a -- you really should be sleeping,

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not eight hours a night, which some struggled with,

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but no, you shouldn't be doing circadian rhythms.

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I said, "What is that?"

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"Oh, that circadian rhythms, that's when you --

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that's when you go to bed when the sun goes down

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and you wake up when the sun comes up."

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Like, Oh gosh, now I've got a new rule

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around sleeping I didn't know.

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Here's another one I just found out.

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Thee same guy was telling me about it.

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He said, "Yeah, and you need to be drinking

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half of your body weight in water."

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Like I weigh about 200 pounds, 100 ounces of water.

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Are you freaking kidding me? 100 ounces?"

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"Oh yeah, absolutely, absolutely."

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I'm very healthy.

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Every time I go to the doctor

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and they do all this stuff, I'm all good.

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I've never drank 100 ounces of water.

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And I'm thinking, "Well, maybe I ought to improve.

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Maybe I go to the next level."

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So next day I did 100 ounces of water.

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Hated it. I'll never do it again.

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It was -- I peed all day. It was awful.

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And I guess if I get more hydrated,

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maybe won't that be that big of a deal.

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But you know, I have friends every time

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I'm with them they're on a new thing,

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the gallon challenge, juicing, a new thing.

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And sometimes I just feel pressed because I go

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I can't keep up.

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These are not rules that I need to have.

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And that's just in the physical, in the physical realm.

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We there's other ones that may exist around here,

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like goals. Goals.

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Studies are very clear, statistics are very clear

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that our youngest generations in America

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are more stressed out than they've ever been

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or more than you have ever been.

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There's more anxiety reigning than ever before

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in younger generations.

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It's not because younger generations are weaker.

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Definitely not.

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It's not because the younger generations

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have different DNA. Definitely not.

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Not because the younger generations don't have,

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you know, the strength or potential that others do.

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But why is there such rampant anxiety and medication

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and depression that's never happened before?

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One of the reasons, or at least possibilities,

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is the expectations and rules that are put on you

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if you are younger that were never put on the rest of us.

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Like you're supposed to figure out by age 15

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exactly what you're going to do for a living.

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And then that's going to inform

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whether or not you go to college.

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Maybe that informs who your graduate school,

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if you're going to graduate school.

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You have to have this, [indiscernible].

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And so you feel like if if I'm 16

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and I don't know really what I want to do for a living,

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I'm going to failure.

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I can't do it.

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If I'm 20 and I'm one year away from graduating college,

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but I don't have a job secured

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and I'm still not sure what I want to do,

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my life is over.

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I've got to tell you, no one knows at 16

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what they're going to do for a living. No one.

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In fact, very, very, very few people know a 20,

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or have any idea.

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You look at all the successful people that you know

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who are in their 40s and you said,

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"Man, did you ever see your life going

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the way it was right now?"

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And they'd say, "No, never saw this job coming.

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Never saw it. It worked out well.

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I was diligent, did the right things and boom."

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But the rules that you have to have

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this kind of education, you have to know this.

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You have to know that.

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You have to have this kind of SAT scores.

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You have to --

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The rules are oppressive and crushing.

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And Jesus would say, "Take my yoke upon you,

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not cultures."

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We're not even talking about social media

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and the expectations there, the rules.

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You have more rules on you today as an American,

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I believe, than you've ever had on you before.

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It starts to weigh us down.

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How about -- here's one here. Oh, politics. Political.

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I know we're all over the map politically at Crossroads,

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that's that's a good thing.

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But there's also a bad thing about that,

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about us being as into politics as we are

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is that I don't think America has ever been

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into politics as much as it is now.

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It just never stops being talked about.

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It's not an election time.

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It's all the time on and on and on.

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I'm telling you it was not the way it used to be.

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We're layering more and more rules on top of us

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and based on whether you're on the right

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or whether on the left, you know,

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the rules that come your way,

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here's what we have to believe,

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here's what we have to think, here's how we have to act.

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It's non stop. It's rules that weigh us down.

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I think this is part of what's happening with vaccines.

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I'm so sorry to go here again.

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I get I get bludgeoned every time I do.

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Just want to give you just something to think

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about how the rules may fit into this.

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I've been vaccinated. I think it's a good idea.

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And if you choose to not get vaccinated,

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you haven't been vaccinated. Great.

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I support your right to do that.

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I support your freedoms, all that stuff, yada yada yada.

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Here's though, what I think is happening

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for many of us who are choosing not to get vaccinated.

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I don't think it's so much about whatever data

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you believe or whatever figure that you follow

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that says something you agree with.

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Part of what's happening, at least this was me,

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why I was so hesitant for a while is

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I'm just tired of people telling me what to do.

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I'm just sick of it.

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I'm sick of being told what to believe by this.

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I'm sick of masking. I'm sick of double masking.

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I'm sick of -- I'm sick of being told

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if you don't think this, then you're a bad person.

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It's an oppressive layering on of rules

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that is outside of whatever God thinks.

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And so finally, it's like, you know what?

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I'm not take your freaking vaccine.

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Not doin it.

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You're not going to stick me in the arm.

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You're putting stuff on me nonstop

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and I just can't take anymore.

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I think this happens with a lot of us because

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we're burdened, we're wearied down

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by all of these sorts of things.

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Here's one: family. Family.

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This is a massive burden that we have,

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the family burden.

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Some of us are just incredibly stressed

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that we don't have a family,

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or at least we don't have the family

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that we think we should have.

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We're stressed about not being married.

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I've hear people say, "You know,

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I have a calling to be married."

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If you're not married, you have zero understanding

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whether or not you have a calling to be married.

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There's no person in the Bible

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that had a calling to be married. None.

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It could be good to be married,

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maybe to the right person, but then again,

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this is a rule that even the church puts on us.

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Oh, I think I saw --

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this is a rule that the church puts on us

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that unless you're married,

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you're really not close to God

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or your life is not what at all it could be.

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People in the Bible are not called to marry.

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It's not a calling from God.

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It's a good thing. I'm pro marriage.

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I love marriage, but I can't tell you

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how many people I've met who are stressed out

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because they're 23 and they're not married.

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They're stressed out because their family life

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doesn't look the way it's supposed to.

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It's because the layering on of rules is stifling you.

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And then if you do get married,

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then if you do have kids, oh my gosh, look out.

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Get ready for the rules to start stacking up:

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how you're supposed to raise your kids,

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what age are supposed to have kids by.

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Things like don't have the TV babysit your kids.

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Let me just be very helpful for you,

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use the television to babysit your kids.

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It's going to be okay. It is.

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I was babysat by a TV. I turned out just fine.

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And so are a lot of people.

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Serious, it's one of the rules.

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It's like, you can't do that.

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And what's being told right now is if you are a parent,

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you're going to let your kids have screen time,

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you have to have it with them.

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You have to sit there and watch the same stuff

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and then talk about it.

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It's a rules, it's a burden you just can't take.

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I ran across this statistic in the New York Times

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and said this, it said:

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today, mothers spend nearly five hours a week,

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five hours a week on shuttling kids around,

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compared with 1:45 in 1975.

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So 3:15 minutes a week more is spent

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shuttling kids around than there was with my parents.

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Why? Because that's the rules.

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When your kids want to do an activity,

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you got to do an activity.

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You got to do this,

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you have to have them do everything.

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That's just the rules and it's oppressive

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and it's stifling.

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And we haven't even started yet.

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I haven't even gotten started yet.

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Well, what else do you want to pick out here?

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Oh, how about? Oh, yeah, here's one.

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How about social media,

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what we're supposed to do on social media?

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We have to have people see us

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and how cool we are in social media

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and all of our great vacations

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and all that stuff that's happening.

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Oh, my goodness.

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Oh, and of course, let's just have

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the financial discussion right now.

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Oh, you only have six months cash on hand

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at all times, six months cash on hand.

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It's got to be there.

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Really? It says that in the Bible where?

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Did all Jesus's disciples have six months cash on hand?

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Did Jesus have six months cash on hand?

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Maybe He did, maybe He did, and maybe it's a good idea,

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maybe that could make you be more free.

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But notice our culture, it's not --

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Got to have six months cash on hand.

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You've got to put 30% of your savings

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or of your income into retirement or you've got this

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or you've got to do this financially

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or you have to make sure you have a house

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by this amount of time.

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Or if you don't have a house, you have to do --

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or you have to pay cash for your car.

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Where's the Bible say you have to pay cash for car?

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It doesn't matter.

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That's just what supposed to happen,

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or you have to do this.

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And all these things,

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I may do a good portion of these things

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and those things may be smart, but it adds to

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the layer of rules and weight.

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And guess what? When you're like this,

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you can't get to better.

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You can't go to the next place because

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you're so weighed down, you just can't move.

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And all you want to do is go back to maybe

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when it was normal, when you might be thinking is

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back when I had fewer rules placed on me.

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Back then there was fewer restrictions

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that were placed upon me.

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Of course, how we clean our house,

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that's critical, exactly how you do it.

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Oh, here's one, Uber conversations.

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What's the rule? So do I talked to the Uber driver

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or do I not talk to the Uber driver?

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And these things just crush us.

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I've got to tell you,

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I just want to take these off already.

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Oh.

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There's actually weight in some of those.

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The Book of Colossians 2:20 and following says:

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All these regulations I just talked about.

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Save 30%, sleep circadian rhythms,

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don't have your kids watch the TV,

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drink 100 ounces of water.

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Referring to things that all perish as they are used,

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according to human precepts and teachings?

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And it says this:

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All those packs were so stifling.

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Man, when you take on the burden of Jesus,

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He says, "Take my yoke upon you,

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because my yoke is easy, my burden is light."

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He's also living water.

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I mean, there's things that Jesus wants us to do

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and we should do. There are.

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There are some things, not all these things.

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Let me tell you.

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I cannot do what people want me to do. I cannot.

00:18:56

I regularly will let people down because I've chosen

00:18:59

I cannot bear the weight of the expectations

00:19:03

that other people have for me.

00:19:05

I'll have people say, "Man, aren't you tired

00:19:07

of wearing the same shirt?

00:19:09

You've got freaking dad jeans on?"

00:19:10

Well, that's because I'm a dad and they're jeans.

00:19:13

So yeah, I guess I have some dad jeans on.

00:19:15

And no, I don't really care about my fashion at all.

00:19:18

Not, not at all. Not remotely.

00:19:20

I can't keep up.

00:19:22

I look at what other people who speak

00:19:23

before a bunch of people, how they look

00:19:25

and how much time they must spend on their wardrobe.

00:19:27

And I go, "I can't do it. I can't keep --

00:19:29

I can't stay with -- I can't."

00:19:32

That's just a burden. That's an expectation.

00:19:34

That's a law of what a person like me

00:19:37

is supposed to look like, that I'm choosing

00:19:39

I'm not going to do.

00:19:42

I want to do what Jesus wants me to do.

00:19:44

I'll do some things in here that are wise,

00:19:46

but I can't do them all.

00:19:47

Jesus is a sip of fresh water.

00:19:53

He's a sip of fresh water,

00:19:55

and He brings a limited amount of expectations.

00:20:00

This is what God wants, not from you,

00:20:04

He wants this for you.

00:20:05

It's what Jesus wants for you:

00:20:07

Simplify your life. Make things easier.

00:20:11

Now I just talked about being very wary

00:20:14

of taking expectations on.

00:20:15

I want to give you a challenge though.

00:20:17

I'm not going to give you a law.

00:20:18

I'm not going to give you a rule,

00:20:19

but I want to give you a challenge,

00:20:21

something that I encourage you

00:20:22

to put inside of your backpack.

00:20:24

We have a Journey coming up.

00:20:26

It's a multipronged spiritual growth approach

00:20:30

to a specific area of life.

00:20:32

And this year, it's called Heroes.

00:20:35

We all want to be heroic.

00:20:36

What does that mean? How am I heroic?

00:20:38

How do I live my best life?

00:20:40

How am I actually great?

00:20:43

We're going to talk about that,

00:20:45

and you're going to need to be

00:20:46

in a group talking with people.

00:20:47

I'm not giving you a law:

00:20:48

Thou must or else God doesn't love you.

00:20:51

I'm asking you to consider

00:20:53

shedding some of your previous commitments

00:20:55

for a five week period and getting inside of a group.

00:20:59

I think you'll be lighter as a result of it.

00:21:01

I think you'll be better as a result of it.

00:21:04

You will be better, not back at normal.

00:21:07

Let me pray for you right now.

00:21:09

God, I thank you for bringing

00:21:10

the simplicity of Christ to my life,

00:21:14

the simplicity of the right expectations.

00:21:20

God, I'm sorry for picking up too many things

00:21:22

and letting too many people stuff things

00:21:24

into my backpack and into my life.

00:21:27

I want to repent of those things

00:21:28

and I want to be about the things

00:21:29

that You called me to.

00:21:31

In Your name I pray Jesus. Amen.

00:27:26

- It's finally time, The Journey starts next week,

00:27:29

and if you don't do anything else,

00:27:31

you need to get in the groove to do The Journey.

00:27:33

We've got a month worth of material coming

00:27:35

and I don't want you to miss a second of it.

00:27:37

Whether it's a book, signing up for a group,

00:27:39

you can find all the things for The Journey

00:27:41

at Crossroads.net/onlinejourney.

00:27:46

That's it for this week.

00:27:47

I'll see you next week for

00:27:48

Heroes: Your Path to Greatness.

00:27:51

Also, don't forget to subscribe

00:27:53

and watch this video right now.

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