You Don't Have to Live Life Exhausted

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- Hey, qué pasa a mi gente? Welcome to Crossroads.

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My name is Arturo, and hey, if you're new to Crossroads,

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just know we're so glad that you're joining us today.

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We're a church that wants to help people connect with God

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and the life Jesus invites all of us to.

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- Yeah. And I'm Griff, I hate to say it,

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but vacation's over, summer's over, uh, school started.

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Maybe you're feeling a little overwhelmed,

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a little overloaded.

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Well, we're starting a new series called Well Played,

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a Guide to a Lighter Load.

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So hopefully in the next 60 minutes

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you'll feel lighter after this.

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- And hey, disclaimer: no shortcuts,

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but we believe that Jesus is offering

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a different way to carry that load.

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So we're going to start this time off with some worship.

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- Yeah. And worship is just prayers put to music.

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So if you like singing, we'd love for you to join us.

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If you're not sure about that yet,

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you could just kind of listen, uh, kind of get a feel.

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But wherever you're at spiritually, we're really glad

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you're here with us. We hope you enjoy this service.

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- Come on, sing this with me.

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- God, those words are true.

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And I love that we get to sing truth about You.

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My prayer for us today, Lord, is that that truth

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was would bring us closer to understanding your character

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and understanding how much a holy God sees us and knows us,

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how much a God who's perfect and different has created us.

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You've created us in your image, God,

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whether we know it or not,

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whether we're walking in it or not, that's the truth.

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So would we step closer to you today,

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would we lean into all that you have for us

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because you're holy, you understand and you see

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with a different lens than any of us in this room.

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And that's a beautiful thing, God, when we trust you.

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Will we lean on you a little bit more today?

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Lord, give us the strength.

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It's in Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen. Come on.

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I took one ear out because

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y'all sounded so good worshiping today.

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You've been singing next to somebody for a while.

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Why don't you turn to a couple of people, give 'em a high five.

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If you're online and you're with us, we're so glad you're here.

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I'm a high five you right now. Let's go.

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- Crossroads has been called to change the world.

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- I heard many times about Nepalese girls

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getting sold to prostitution in India,

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and that made me think to some time of my life

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to come to Nepal and to do something about it.

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- Poverty, injustice, unsafe drinking water,

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food insecurity, human trafficking.

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The work varies from partner to partner, place to place,

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but the call is the same: Go change the world.

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- When we saw what was happening

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to the forgotten communities in Puerto Rico,

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we knew we had to do something.

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- We are invested in creating meaningful relationships

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with our partners,

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whether local, regional or international.

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Our partners are answering the call

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to influence radical life change.

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- When I heard about South Africa,

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I was all in and so excited.

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It turns out it was the best experience of my life.

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- God designed us for purpose and relationship,

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and that's what you'll experience when you Go.

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You were meant for more than the ordinary.

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We are meant to Go. You are meant to Go. Let's Go.

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- So Go Trips give you an experience and a new mindset

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that honestly, you can't get

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by spending a week in your own backyard. Right, Griff?

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- Right. I got to Go just recently in June to Puerto Rico.

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And guys, I can't tell you what an incredible experience it is.

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Three things. One, you get your hands dirty,

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like literally mixing concrete, helping build a house,

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and you see the difference you're making in someone's life.

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Secondly, you build some great relationships.

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You may not know everyone when you get there,

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but you know everyone when you leave.

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You spend so much time together.

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But probably the most powerful thing is

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you're serving God in a tangible way every day,

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and it gives you such a great opportunity

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to reflect on your life with God

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and what that looks like when you get home.

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And it's a powerful experience.

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- Yeah, it is. And look,

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we've talked about it for a few weeks now.

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So if you're feeling that nudge to Go, listen to that nudge,

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sign up and that's your next step, let's Go.

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If you've got any sorts of questions there still,

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still wondering, listen, find out everything

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you need to know and more at crossroads.net/trips.

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- All right. Well, I didn't get to fully introduce myself.

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I'm Griff, I work with the Crossroads Anywhere team

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and our role is to work with all of you out there

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across the country, across the world,

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who don't go to one of our physical locations.

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So I just want to say hello to some of you.

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There's Andy all the way in England,

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Griffiths and the Beechens in Florida,

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just as a couple of you.

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And up in Michigan, the Holloways and the Winklers.

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I know you're there. It's good to see you guys.

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So, but if you're in Cleveland and Louisville, guess what?

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We are coming to you in person this fall.

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- Yeah, we are. Look, we started in Cincinnati 30 years ago.

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There's emerging with a strong church

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in Lexington nine years ago.

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We've got our first permanent site in Dayton a year ago.

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And Columbus is currently under construction.

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Two years ago, God gave us a vision

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to be in ten cities in ten years.

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Because you, all of you watching, many of you watching,

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told us that there is something unique to Crossroads

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that's needed in your city.

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In particular, you think your friends who don't have a church

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could be able to connect with God more easily

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at a church like Crossroads. So yeah.

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- Absolutely. So that's why we are bringing

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Crossroads live events

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to Louisville and Cleveland this fall,

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so that you can experience the full expression

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of what Crossroads is like on a weekend.

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So Cleveland on September 12th and Louisville October 17th.

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We can't wait to see you there.

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And even if you don't live there, this is for you

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because you may have friends or family who does.

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So reach out, invite them, maybe go visit,

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oOr if you live there, don't go alone.

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- And listen, whether you can make it or not,

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we can all be praying that these nights

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become the beginning of spiritual awakening

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in these cities.

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We want to see God do 10X

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of what he's already started here at Crossroads.

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And part of that is also fueling the financial cost of ministry,

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fueling opportunities like these to reach new people.

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Go Trips all around the world

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and all of our supporting ministries

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in our current cities.

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So if any of that sounds exciting to you

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and you want to be a part of it,

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you can give at Crossroads.net/give.

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- That's right, and I just want to say to the Cleveland people,

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it was great to be with you having dinner.

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Louisville, Ian and Christy, thank you for hosting.

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Phenomenal people.

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So we're going to be kicking off this series,

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it's called Well Played

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and it's with our lead pastor Kyle Ranson.

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Now he is fresh off vacation.

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He's got a little bit of tan. He looks well rested.

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- Yeah, I think so.

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- So he's in a good place to talk to us

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about this invitation that Jesus says to us

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to come to him no matter what burdens we're carrying.

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Remember we talked about being overloaded.

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He's going to help us carry the load.

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So we want to jump in and hear more about that.

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- Every day we roll the dice:

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Another decision, another responsibility,

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another space to move.

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We keep chasing the next thing, hoping we'll finally arrive.

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But Jesus offers something different.

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He doesn't promise to take away the hard stuff in life,

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but he does show us a different way to play the game.

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In Matthew 11, Jesus says: Come to me,

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all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

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Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

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for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

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and you will find rest for your souls.

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For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

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- Well, ey everybody! How are you? Good.

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My name is Kyle, I'm our Lead Pastor here at Crossroads.

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I am fresh back from vacation, fresh back.

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And this year, the Ranson family,

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we did vacation a little bit differently.

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Usually our strategy is to beat you guys to the beach.

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Our minivan will dust your minivan,

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so we leave like as soon as school is over,

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late May, early June.

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But this year we went late August

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or late July, early August.

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And I'm here to tell you that was a terrible idea.

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Because when you do that, you get back

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and all of a sudden back to school season is in your face.

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Like wake up from a nap

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and someone makes you jump on a treadmill set at ten.

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You're like, "I was just resting, you know,

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what are we doing right now?" It's terrible.

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Now, as parents, I know not all of us are parents, that's okay.

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I just want to get you kind of a behind the scenes view

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of a parent's mind at back to school season,

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because it's a little bit conflicted.

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See back in the end of school, like in May,

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we can't wait for summer because we're tired

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of driving the kids to all of the stuff,

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all of the play practices and soccer practices

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and fighting about homework and all that stuff.

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And so we can't wait for the bliss, rest of summer.

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And it gets here and it's amazing.

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It's bliss for an entire like two days.

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And then we remember something

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that we forgot about last summer,

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which is that during the summer, all of the kids are right here,

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like right, right here.

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And they ask us for stuff like what's for lunch

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and what's for dinner and do we have any snacks?

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And she hit me and he kicked me and Charlie bit my finger.

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And all of these things are annoying.

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And so on June 1st, we start dreaming about back to school.

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And then it gets here and our calendars fill up

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and we're just overwhelmed by them.

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We literally showed up from vacation to a giant calendar

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from Amazon on our front porch that we started filling out.

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And by we, I mean Sarah filled it out and I sat by sweating.

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It's -- it's horrible.

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We have three kids in cross country,

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one in soccer, one in baseball,

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two who are going to do a school play,

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one who's doing Influencer with Crossroads,

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shout out Influencers,

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one of them who's on like a mock trial team,

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something I don't quite understand,

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one starting high school, one learning to drive.

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I only have three children.

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And it feels insane sometimes.

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Like life is this crazy game,

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and you're not even sure if anybody

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who's playing the game is actually winning.

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All you know is you spend most of your life in the car,

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which is Sarah and I.

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I counted last year, we drove 24,000 miles each.

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That's the circumference of the earth.

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We would pass each other in the driveway, roll down our windows.

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Sarah would look at me and be like,

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"Hey, I remember you, Kevin, right?"

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This is what life feels like for all of us,

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even if you're not a parent.

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Maybe you're a student, you're in high school,

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you're in college, it's your literal back to school season.

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You've got new classwork and new schedules

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and new syllabuses and new social pressures

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that add to your plate.

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Even if you don't have any kids, maybe you're an empty nester,

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maybe you're single, it's still the season

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where everyone's back in the office.

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It's go time for all of us

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and it can feel overwhelming and exhausting,

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which is exactly why we're doing this series

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that we're doing right now.

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This series we're calling Well Played,

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where we're asking this very basic question:

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is it possible to play the game of life differently

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in a way that doesn't leave you burnt out,

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overwhelmed, and heavy burden? Is that possible?

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And I'm here to tell you the answer is no.

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So let's pray, get you out of here.

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God, thank you so much -- Just kidding.

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The answer from Jesus is actually a resounding yes.

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And the good news is that this is something

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that's possible for all of us.

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You don't have to be an incredibly smart person

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or an amazingly well disciplined person.

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You don't have to get super organized

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and have Marie Kondo come over and organize your sock drawer.

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That's not the secret.

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This is available for all of us, if, if,

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if we'll slow down enough

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to learn to play the game Jesus's way.

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And that's what we're going to do in this series.

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Over the next four weeks we're actually going to slow down

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in a way that I don't know that we've ever done

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quite at Crossroads before.

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We're going to spend four straight weeks

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on one single piece of scripture.

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Now, it might be new for us,

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but it's not actually new in the history of the church.

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It's rooted, it's a very ancient practice called lectio divina.

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The idea is you chew on scripture continually

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over and over and over again.

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Now, I learned early on in my marriage with Sarah

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something very important about chewing

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and sharing desserts with her.

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When I eat dessert, I like to savor it.

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I am a small bite, dainty, one pinky out dessert eater.

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You can judge me if you want to. That's how I do it.

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Sarah is a wood chipper.

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Like the cake shows up and you look up and look down.

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It's gone, it's just gone. There's just crumbs.

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You're like, "What, what what happened?"

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If you if you share a cake with Sarah,

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your best bet is to cut it in half

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and shotgun your half as fast as you possibly can.

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If you choose slow, you get less.

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The Bible is the opposite.

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If you choose slow, you actually get more.

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It's going to go very slowly through this

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one particular thing that Jesus said in Matthew chapter 11.

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Now it happens to be one of my favorite things,

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maybe my all time favorite thing that Jesus ever said.

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It's been deeply meaningful to me.

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It's these words, Matthew 11:28, Jesus says:

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Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,

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and I will give you rest.

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Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,

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for I am humble and gentle and lowly in heart,

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For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

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Now it's my favorite verse, in part

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because that's an amazing promise.

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And whether you believe in Jesus or not, you got to admit,

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like, if that's possible, that would be incredible.

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It's also my favorite because the address for it

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happens to be my birthday. Matthew 11:28.

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My birthday is November 28th.

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And in this weird way, God has used that

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to draw me again and again and again back to this verse

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in periods of my life where I feel heavy laden.

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And I've been in one of those lately.

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It's been a verse I've actually been meditating on

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personally now for weeks and weeks and weeks,

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chewing on it, slowly going over it with God

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because my life has felt heavy burdened.

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I'll walk you a little bit into some of my processing with God.

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This is my journal.

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A few weeks ago, I just started to list out

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the ways that I feel heavy burdens.

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What are the burdens that I actually feel?

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I'm just trying to have this conversation with God.

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By the way, I don't journal and write like:

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Dear Diary, today -- That's not what's here.

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The reason that I journal is because when I write

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my mind like locks in more than if I don't.

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If I don't write, my brain tends to wonder.

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So this is the way I can focus with God in conversation.

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So I was just writing out some of my burdens.

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I said, Lord, I'm hiking with a heavy pack.

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Carrying the burden of Crossroads,

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the burden of the future of my family,

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the burden of the development of my kids,

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the burden of the growth and the health of my marriage,

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the burden of the care for Sarah, for my wife,

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the burden of the care and development of Ben.

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He's a sophomore.

00:29:45

Three years left until he leaves my house,

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three years left to prepare him for life.

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Eli one year behind him.

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Gracie, sweet Gracie, time is ticking.

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I need to model a man who shows her

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what it means to have a heart that's for her.

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Crossroads budget.

00:30:04

You all don't know this, but summer is budget season.

00:30:06

We work very, very hard to make sure we maximize

00:30:09

Kingdom impact with every single cent that's given here.

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Our fiscal year starts on September 1st.

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It's a month's long process of a lot of hard work,

00:30:18

a lot of hard decisions to make in that process.

00:30:21

10x, I love 10X.

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I love what God's doing, my family

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personally sacrificing for it every single month.

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And yet it can also feel like a burden.

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How do we do this thing?

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How do we reach more people?

00:30:32

How do we help God's Kingdom grow and expand?

00:30:35

This one: my health.

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Craziest thing happens to me, every year I get older.

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I don't know if that happens to you, happens to me.

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And when I get older, my health doesn't automatically go up.

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It seems to go down.

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And I know that exercise is so important.

00:30:54

It's always been a critical habit of mine,

00:30:56

and yet the older I get, the more things pull on my schedule

00:30:59

and I find it harder and harder and harder to make time.

00:31:04

Caring for our Crossroads staff,

00:31:05

taking care of my house,

00:31:07

financially providing for my family,

00:31:09

being present when my kids need me to be present.

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This is a big one.

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If you don't have teenagers, especially,

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you might not know this.

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So just heads up warning

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to everybody with a baby in the nursery,

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this is coming your way.

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Your teenagers will want to talk about the important stuff

00:31:23

at the exact moment you have zero energy left.

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I don't know how they know that, but they know.

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And that's when they come to you. 10:00 at night.

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Like, "Can we talk?" "Oh my gosh. I want to go to bed.

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I am, I am old. I gotta sleep, you know?"

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I want to be there for them.

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I said, "Father, I carry burdens, they're heavy ones.

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I can't keep carrying them. I need your help."

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And I know that if you were to stop

00:31:53

and you were to write out your burdens,

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the details of them would change, the names would change,

00:31:58

the roles you play would would change.

00:32:00

But the weight would be the same,

00:32:02

more or less, it would be the same.

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See, all of us tend to live a life that is overly burdened

00:32:09

and as Jesus says, heavy laden.

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And the fact of the matter we have to start with

00:32:14

is recognizing that it is literally killing us.

00:32:18

I can take the next two hours, and I can give us

00:32:21

all kinds of stats about all kinds of health surveys,

00:32:23

about the impact of the heavy burden life that we live,

00:32:26

the impact of stress on us. I won't do that.

00:32:28

Chances are you've already heard some of them,

00:32:30

but I just want to jog your memory

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and set the framework with just a single one.

00:32:35

This is the result of a 20 year long study

00:32:38

that the National Institute of Health did.

00:32:41

They say this: Levels of stress in America

00:32:43

have reached an all time high,

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with more than 80% of surveyed adults

00:32:47

reporting emotional effects from prolonged stress.

00:32:51

Decades of research have linked the stress response

00:32:54

to multiple indices of physical and emotional health,

00:32:57

ranging from depression, anxiety and sleep disorders

00:33:01

to cardiovascular disease, diminished recovery from cancer,

00:33:05

higher rates of chronic disease, and earlier mortality.

00:33:11

Guys, the way we're playing the game is not working.

00:33:16

It's not. It's literally taking years off of our lives.

00:33:21

And to us, a heavy burden people, Jesus comes along

00:33:25

and he says, "Come to me and I will give you rest."

00:33:32

I just want to stand here today

00:33:33

and let you know that that's true.

00:33:35

That can happen for you.

00:33:37

Again and again in seasons of stress in my life,

00:33:40

as I return to the same exact scripture, as I slow down,

00:33:43

as I chew on it, as I practically apply it,

00:33:46

what I find is that all of the stuff is still there.

00:33:49

All of the deadlines are still there.

00:33:51

All of the expectations are still there.

00:33:53

All of the kids stuff I got to drive them to, still there.

00:33:57

All of the kids, still there.

00:34:01

And yet, and yet my load feels so much lighter

00:34:06

and easier and joyful.

00:34:08

And I'm telling you, you can experience the same exact thing

00:34:12

if, if, if you lean in.

00:34:15

Now, the starting spot of how to play the game Jesus's way

00:34:19

is the first three words that we heard.

00:34:22

Matthew 11:28, Jesus says: Come to me.

00:34:27

And today is about you getting a rep in of coming to him.

00:34:33

This is critical, you got to understand.

00:34:34

If you ask the question, "Jesus, how do I play the game your way?

00:34:37

Because the easy, unburdened life, that sounds amazing.

00:34:41

What do I do?"

00:34:42

Jesus doesn't give you a list of principles.

00:34:45

He doesn't say, here's the seven tips of how to play the game.

00:34:48

Here's five principles for playing.

00:34:50

It's not about principles.

00:34:51

It's about proximity to a person, to him.

00:34:55

And if you don't come to him, you will not experience rest.

00:35:00

Now, I know that a lot of us, you know,

00:35:02

we hear that and we're like, "Great, come to him.

00:35:04

How in the world would I do that?

00:35:06

What does that look like?"

00:35:07

That's what we're going to help you literally do

00:35:09

and experience today, starting right now.

00:35:12

Today is going to feel a little bit different.

00:35:14

The band's going to come out and do a song in just a minute.

00:35:17

It's not a sing along song.

00:35:18

It's a song meant to set a table

00:35:20

for you to have a moment to begin to process with God.

00:35:24

So what we're going to do right now,

00:35:26

I want you to get out your phone and open your notes app.

00:35:30

And if you didn't bring a phone today, congratulations.

00:35:33

You are so much better than the rest of us.

00:35:35

Get out a piece of paper, steal a pen from your neighbor

00:35:38

because you're going to want to write.

00:35:42

And what I'll invite you to do is to list out your burdens.

00:35:48

You heard some of mine.

00:35:51

What are yours? Some of them.

00:35:53

Some of them you probably carried in top of mind.

00:35:55

You woke up thinking about it this morning.

00:35:58

You thought about it during worship.

00:36:00

The moment you heard

00:36:01

that this was a talk about burdens, you went there.

00:36:04

Others are buried a little bit deeper in your pack.

00:36:09

Over these next four minutes, I want you to bring

00:36:11

as many of them to mind as you possibly can.

00:36:16

I'll give you some prompt, ilf it's helpful.

00:36:18

You could start by listing all the roles you play in life.

00:36:24

I am a husband. I'm a father.

00:36:28

I'm an employee. I'm a boss.

00:36:32

I'm a brother. I'm a son.

00:36:34

I'm a friend, a neighbor.

00:36:37

What are the roles you play in life?

00:36:41

And as you list those roles, just start to list

00:36:44

every stress you have attached to them.

00:36:50

As the song goes on you can go a layer deeper.

00:36:52

You can think about the people in those roles,

00:36:56

maybe the names of friends, the names of family members,

00:37:00

the names of people at work.

00:37:02

What are the stresses that you carry for them, about them?

00:37:09

I just want you to bring all that to mind right now.

00:37:12

This is the beginning of what it looks like to come to him.

00:37:17

Let's do that right now together.

00:42:03

- I want you to keep your eyes fixed on that list.

00:42:07

These are the words of the God who wants to be near to you

00:42:12

and carry that weight.

00:42:16

Over all those burdens and over you, He says:

00:42:19

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden,

00:42:25


00:42:29

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,

00:42:32

for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

00:42:35


00:42:39

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

00:42:46

If you want him to take your burden,

00:42:47

I want you to agree with my prayer right now.

00:42:49

God, I want you to carry the weight of my life.

00:42:54

There are so many things on my back

00:42:58

that I don't know how to carry.

00:43:02

It's too heavy for me.

00:43:05

Would you show me what my job is

00:43:09

and would you help me trust you with yours? Amen.

00:43:16

Well, in 2007,

00:43:17

right about the time that I entered the workforce,

00:43:22

there was a book sweeping the nation.

00:43:25

Every office was reading this book.

00:43:27

It was amazing.

00:43:28

The promise was incredible.

00:43:29

It's called The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape the 9-5,

00:43:34

Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich.

00:43:38

Sign me up. Sounds amazing.

00:43:42

Now, what's interesting is, 19 years later,

00:43:44

do you know what? I don't hear anybody talking about?

00:43:47

The four hour work week.

00:43:50

Do you know why? Because it doesn't work.

00:43:56

At the start of this, I want to be really clear

00:43:58

with what Jesus is not saying with these words.

00:44:01

He is not inviting us into the four hour work week.

00:44:06

In fact, work in the Bible is actually good.

00:44:08

It's part of what you and I need in order to live

00:44:12

a purpose filled, satisfying life.

00:44:15

Before, if you go to the earliest parts of the Bible,

00:44:18

before the world broke, when everything was good,

00:44:21

God designed work.

00:44:23

Genesis 2:15 says: The Lord God took the man

00:44:26

and put him in the Garden of Eden to Work it and keep it.

00:44:32

It's part of the original purpose.

00:44:33

See, the problem is not the work itself.

00:44:36

The problem is the way that we work

00:44:39

that ends in us feeling heavy laden.

00:44:42

Let's go back to the words of Jesus, Matthew 11:28:

00:44:45

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden.

00:44:50

The invitation here is to have people who work

00:44:53

and have this heavy laden life.

00:44:57

Now, in a bizarre way, a heavy laden life

00:44:59

has become like a modern merit badge.

00:45:01

It's how we know we're doing life right.

00:45:04

I mean, imagine if somebody came up to you

00:45:06

and you said, "Hey, how are you doing?"

00:45:09

And they said, "Great. My life feels pretty,

00:45:12

uh, pretty easy, pretty light."

00:45:16

You would think that person was a loser.

00:45:18

You would be like, "What's wrong with you?

00:45:20

You're clearly a slacker. You're clearly not a hard worker."

00:45:24

See, we think that we're doing it right

00:45:25

if we feel this stress, if we feel the weight of it.

00:45:30

And the reason for that is because we've got

00:45:32

a weight of expectations on us that doesn't come from Jesus.

00:45:36

The weight is expectations.

00:45:38

And the one who sets the weight of expectations

00:45:41

is the one you work for, the one who defines your win.

00:45:45

And what Jesus invites us to in this scripture

00:45:48

and other places in the Bible,

00:45:49

is to work as though we work for him.

00:45:53

Colossians 3:23 says: Whatever you do,

00:45:56

work heartily as for the Lord.

00:46:00

And this is the second adjustment to your game,

00:46:02

practically you need to make if you want to play it Jesus's way,

00:46:05

it's let him define your win.

00:46:09

Let's go back to Matthew 11:28.

00:46:11


00:46:14


00:46:16

If you just pause right there, what would you expect next

00:46:19

from somebody who promises you rest?

00:46:21

I would expect something like, "I'll give you rest.

00:46:24

Therefore take my lawn chair upon you and sit in it, right?

00:46:29

But that's not what he says.

00:46:30

The next words are take my yoke upon you.

00:46:33

My yoke.

00:46:34

Yoked is one of my favorite Gen Z, Gen Alpha slangs.

00:46:38

I love it, it's awesome.

00:46:39

You know that dude is yoked.

00:46:41

Like, you know, that's a super muscly guy, right?

00:46:44

The other day I was at my best friend's house

00:46:47

and his daughter, she's 15.

00:46:50

Um, she described me as muscly and I was like, "Wow, thank you.

00:46:54

That's. You really think so, huh?"

00:46:57

And she goes, "Well, yeah, it was that or doughy,

00:46:59

and that seemed mean."

00:47:01

I was like, "Yeah, that --

00:47:03

I'm glad you didn't say that out loud.

00:47:05

That would have been mean."

00:47:10

The way we use yokes to mean strength

00:47:12

is actually indicative

00:47:14

of its original meaning in this context.

00:47:16

There's kind of two here, but they both have

00:47:19

the connotations of strength and work.

00:47:21

One is a yoke is an actual wooden object

00:47:25

placed on the back of an animal, usually an ox,

00:47:28

and it's to help them bear weight,

00:47:30

to literally pull the weight of a plow through the dirt,

00:47:33

or bear the weight of a cart on their back.

00:47:35

That's one legitimate use of the word.

00:47:37

And the other in this context, a yoke

00:47:39

was the set of expectations, the definition of

00:47:42

what a winning life looks like from every single rabbi.

00:47:46

And every rabbi had their own yoke.

00:47:49

And so Jesus comes along

00:47:51

as this entirely different kind of rabbi,

00:47:54

this entirely different spiritual teacher,

00:47:56

and he says something wild and radical about his yoke.

00:48:01

Verse 30, he says: My yoke is easy.

00:48:05

Easy. How can a yoke be easy?

00:48:10

How can a burden be an unburden?

00:48:12

But that's what he claims.

00:48:15

Now, easy is a little bit misleading.

00:48:17

You and I tend to associate easy with effortless.

00:48:20

And that's not what he's saying here.

00:48:21

It doesn't mean effortless.

00:48:23

This word in its original definition means

00:48:25

kind, good, pleasant, and well fitting.

00:48:31

Now the opposite of a yoke that's kind, good,

00:48:33

pleasant, and well fitting is one that's not well fitting.

00:48:37

If you put an actual piece of wood on an animal

00:48:40

and an actual yoke, you've got to make sure it fits well.

00:48:43

If it doesn't, it's going to rub in the wrong way

00:48:46

and it'll start as a minor irritation.

00:48:48

And eventually it'll open up a sore on the skin,

00:48:51

it'll start to bleed, that can get infected.

00:48:53

And it makes the labor of the animal really, really hard.

00:48:58

For many of us, this is how work feels for us.

00:49:00

This is how our life feels for us,

00:49:02

the labor of our whole life, it feels hard.

00:49:06

It feels exhausting.

00:49:07

It's because we're wearing the wrong yoke.

00:49:10

We're letting somebody or someone else or something else

00:49:13

define our win instead of Jesus.

00:49:17

And if you let Jesus define your win, he changes it.

00:49:20

See, you and I, we tend

00:49:22

to find the wins in our life as outcomes.

00:49:25

I'll be a winning mom

00:49:26

if my kids end up getting into X college, right?

00:49:30

I'll be a winner at work if I do these certain things.

00:49:34

If I hit this promotion, this thing.

00:49:36

We define it as outcomes.

00:49:37

But Jesus doesn't look at our life

00:49:39

and judge our work based on outcomes.

00:49:41

He's so much more interested in attitudes.

00:49:45

And if you could make this switch, it changes everything.

00:49:48

I'd be like, man, he's interested in attitudes.

00:49:50

What does that even mean?

00:49:51

Well, if you go to the Bible and you say,

00:49:52

what is the biblical word for outcome?

00:49:55

The answer is fruit.

00:49:57

The fruit is the outcome of the work of a plant.

00:50:00

And if you said,

00:50:02

well, what is the fruit that Jesus wants from us?

00:50:05

He gives us a very clear answer, Galatians 5:

00:50:07

But the fruit of the spirit,

00:50:08

what he wants you to produce as you follow him,

00:50:12

is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

00:50:19

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

00:50:22

Against such things there is no law.

00:50:24

In other words, if these are the things that are produced

00:50:28

as you work, there is no other requirement,

00:50:31

no other law that you are meant to fulfill.

00:50:35

And again, we hear that and we're like, man, that --

00:50:37

No, but I gotta, I gotta make gains

00:50:40

because at work we're measured against our gains.

00:50:43

But Jesus says in Matthew 16:26:

00:50:45

What profit is it to a man if he gains the entire world?

00:50:51

You work so hard that every outcome

00:50:53

that you ever wanted to have happen,

00:50:54

every retirement goal you had for your accounts,

00:50:57

every degree you wanted to get,

00:50:59

every promotion you wanted to get,

00:51:01

every college you wanted to get your kids into,

00:51:03

whatever your your outcomes are, all of them,

00:51:05

you got all of them. You gained the whole world.

00:51:07

What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world

00:51:11

and lose his own soul?

00:51:15

What will a man give in exchange for his soul?

00:51:18

If you go back to our scripture, Matthew 11:28,

00:51:22

did you notice what Jesus promises rest for?

00:51:26

It's not our bodies.

00:51:29

Verse 29 says: Yyou will find rest for your souls.

00:51:36

See, the miracle that Jesus offers us is not a body at rest.

00:51:41

He offers a miracle.

00:51:42

He says, you can have a soul at rest inside a body in motion.

00:51:49

This is wild what he promises.

00:51:52

I mean, think about that, what would life feel like

00:51:54

if you were to go through all of your life,

00:51:56

you were to do the things, you were to show up,

00:51:58

you were to meet your responsibilities.

00:52:00

But the whole time your soul was at rest.

00:52:03

That's the promise.

00:52:05

He actually says he will give you that rest.

00:52:07

But here's the catch, He will only give you the rest

00:52:11

when you give him the outcomes,

00:52:14

when you trust him with the weight of the things

00:52:17

beyond your control that you're not meant to carry.

00:52:19

You have to give him the outcomes

00:52:21

and then he'll give you the rest.

00:52:23

You can't wear them on your back.

00:52:25

I had a meeting probably 5 or 6 weeks ago

00:52:28

with a guy named Jim Bechtold.

00:52:30

Jim is a co-founder of Crossroads,

00:52:32

and he's currently on our board.

00:52:33

And he met with me just to check on me.

00:52:35

And in the course of our conversation,

00:52:36

he said something to me that stood out.

00:52:38

He said, "Kyle, you cannot bear the weight

00:52:40

of the outcomes of Crossroads on your back.

00:52:42

That is not your responsibility.

00:52:44

That's on God."

00:52:46

I was like, "What? Aren't you supposed to tell me

00:52:49

stuff like, we're all counting on you

00:52:51

and work hard and check my calendar

00:52:53

and make sure I'm doing -- working hard enough?"

00:52:56

He's like, "No, no."

00:52:58

By the way, Jim has his doctorate in leadership.

00:53:01

Jim's day job is mentoring CEOs.

00:53:05

He said something else to me that was really interesting.

00:53:07

He said, "You know, Kyle, most CEOs,

00:53:11

including most Christian CEOs, are fools."

00:53:13

I was like, "Wow, okay, why?"

00:53:17

And he said, "Well, they carry the heavy burden

00:53:20

of outcomes on their back, specifically for work

00:53:22

that are beyond their control.

00:53:24

They push so hard, they obsess over them.

00:53:25

They take all the weight on their shoulders,

00:53:27

and then they get to the end of their life,

00:53:29

the end of their careers, and they realize

00:53:31

when it's too late that they carried the wrong weight.

00:53:37

They look at their families,

00:53:38

the people who needed love and joy and peace

00:53:44

and patience and kindness and goodness

00:53:47

and gentleness and faithfulness and self control from them,

00:53:50

and they didn't get it, and it's too late

00:53:53

because that's a fool. Kyle, do not be a fool."

00:53:58

I think many of us inadvertently,

00:53:59

we live the life of a fool.

00:54:01

We're carrying the wrong weight, and at the same time,

00:54:03

it's killing us. It's killing us.

00:54:07

So the third adjustment you have to make to your game

00:54:09

if you want to play it Jesus's way,

00:54:11

you have to hand him the weight.

00:54:15

Jim Collins wrote a leadership book

00:54:17

much better than The 4-Hour Workweek, by the way,

00:54:19

much better, called Good to Great. Highly recommend it.

00:54:23

And in this book, Jim and his research team,

00:54:25

they set out to determine what differentiates a company

00:54:29

from being merely good to one that's truly great.

00:54:33

And one of the things that they found, unexpectedly,

00:54:35

is what they came to describe as a level five leader.

00:54:39

And a level five leader doesn't fit the mold

00:54:41

of what we typically think about when we think of

00:54:44

like a powerful, effective, inspiring leader

00:54:46

who's going to get us farther than we can get on our own.

00:54:49

It's entirely different.

00:54:51

Here's what he says about level five leaders. He says:

00:54:54

While level five leaders

00:54:55

can come in many personality packages,

00:54:57

they are often self-effacing, quiet, reserved and even shy.

00:55:03

Level five leaders display a compelling modesty,

00:55:06

are self-effacing and understated.

00:55:09

In contrast, two thirds of the comparison companies

00:55:12

had leaders with gargantuan personal egos

00:55:15

that contributed to the demise

00:55:17

or continued mediocrity of the company.

00:55:19

Level five leaders, listen to this,

00:55:22

display a workman like diligence more plow horse than show horse.

00:55:28

Collins discovered that the leaders

00:55:30

that are most helpful in our lives, the most important,

00:55:33

impactful leaders in the world are people who show up

00:55:36

to their offices, and even though they're on top,

00:55:40

they put themselves on the bottom.

00:55:42

Even though they could ask

00:55:43

everyone else to carry the weight,

00:55:45

they decide they're going to be the plow horse

00:55:48

with the yoke on its back pulling forward

00:55:52

to bless everybody else, to go under everyone.

00:55:55

Well, 2000 years before Collins made this discovery,

00:55:58

Jesus said: This is what leaders who look like him are.

00:56:02

And he said this is the leader that he is.

00:56:06

Listen to the verse we've been looking at, Matthew 11:28:

00:56:09


00:56:11


00:56:13

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

00:56:15

for I am gentle and lowly in heart.

00:56:22

We did the I Am series a number of months ago.

00:56:25

We looked at the seven I Am statements

00:56:26

from the Book of John.

00:56:28

This is maybe the most important I Am statement

00:56:30

Jesus says in all of Scripture: I am gentle and lowly in heart.

00:56:34

Why? Because heart is not about feelings

00:56:37

or emotions in a moment.

00:56:39

Heart, the literal meaning of this word,

00:56:40

is the driving, motivating core of someone.

00:56:43

It's who they most truly are.

00:56:46

And when Jesus describes himself as a leader in our lives,

00:56:50

and when Jesus describes his heart, which by the way,

00:56:53

this is the only place in the Bible

00:56:55

where Jesus reveals his heart.

00:56:57

He says it's gentle and lowly.

00:57:01

The word lowly means a station in life.

00:57:04

It's the same word that Paul uses

00:57:06

in Romans 12:16 when he says

00:57:08

don't associate with the haughty,

00:57:09

but associate with the lowly.

00:57:12

It's the lowest person on the totem pole.

00:57:14

It's the person who, if you're going somewhere,

00:57:16

you would have them carry all the bags.

00:57:18

And Jesus says, "That's me. That's my heart."

00:57:23

See, this is the crazy gospel.

00:57:25

We sang earlier the song about he's holy,

00:57:27

he's exalted, he's above all. And that's true.

00:57:30

The one with all the power, all the might in the universe,

00:57:33

the one with the right to lord over you,

00:57:36

instead came to serve under you,

00:57:40

to put himself lower than you,

00:57:43

to carry the weight of your life.

00:57:46

He was always saying this in his ministry

00:57:48

and no one was understanding.

00:57:49

He said it to his disciples over and over and over again,

00:57:52

even at the very last meal that he had with them,

00:57:54

the Last Supper, he said the same thing to them.

00:57:57

Matthew 20:28 he said: The Son of Man, him,

00:58:01

did not come to be served, but to serve.

00:58:08

The foundation of your relationship with God

00:58:11

is not how much you will serve him.

00:58:15

It starts with how much you'll let him serve you.

00:58:20

Will you let him carry the weight of your life?

00:58:23

Will you hand it to him?

00:58:24

Because he won't reach in and take it.

00:58:26

You got to give it to him.

00:58:28

On our vacation, we went hiking.

00:58:31

And by hiking, I mean like a lot of hiking.

00:58:33

We hiked 112 miles on our vacation.

00:58:37

And you might sound like that sounds terrible.

00:58:40

And that's okay. I didn't invite you on vacation.

00:58:42

It wasn't for you. It was for me. Okay?

00:58:45

And we loved to hike as a family.

00:58:47

Now, when we hike, this thing would play out.

00:58:49

Which is Eli far ahead of the rest of us.

00:58:52

This little dot here. This is Eli, far in the distance,

00:58:55

once again, out in front of everybody.

00:58:57

And that's because Eli is our natural athlete.

00:58:59

He's 14. He played club baseball.

00:59:02

And before this last season, I was like, "Eli,

00:59:03

you know your natural athlete thing,

00:59:05

it's going to wear out at some point.

00:59:06

And so you really need to like, you know,

00:59:08

lift weights and practice at home and try really hard."

00:59:10

And he said, thank you, promptly ignored everything I said

00:59:13

and then led his team in batting and made the all star team.

00:59:15

And so, you know, he's got this attitude of like,

00:59:17

"I am the ultra athlete."

00:59:19

And he would annoy his brother and sister as he would hike,

00:59:22

like he'd be climbing some steep stairs

00:59:23

up in the middle of a mountain.

00:59:25

And he'd be like hopping them

00:59:26

like, "Is this hard for you guys?

00:59:27

It's so easy, you know?"

00:59:31

And then towards the end of our trip,

00:59:32

we hiked up to this mountain lake.

00:59:34

And it was a steep hike. I mean, 1500ft of elevation gain,

00:59:38

maybe more in a short amount of time.

00:59:40

And we're all winded, we're out of breath,

00:59:42

and we're miles in the wilderness

00:59:44

and miles away from everything.

00:59:45

And Eli starts having trouble.

00:59:48

Eli, I don't know if he didn't eat breakfast that morning.

00:59:50

I don't know if he was sick a little bit,

00:59:52

but he starts having trouble hiking.

00:59:54

And I could see in his mind this turmoil

00:59:57

because Eli, in Eli's mind, is not the one who needs help.

01:00:01

Eli, in Eli's mind, is the one who can carry the weight.

01:00:05

The one who's got it.

01:00:06

The one who can keep going,

01:00:07

the one who can push and just make it on his own.

01:00:11

But he would continue to just kind of stumble,

01:00:13

and he would sit down and he'd take a break

01:00:15

and he would -- he'd get his Camelback

01:00:16

and he'd drink some water

01:00:17

and he'd stand back up and he'd try again.

01:00:19

He'd hike maybe a hundred yards and he'd sit back down.

01:00:22

So finally I said, "Hey, Eli.

01:00:26

I would love to carry your pack.

01:00:28

How about you -- How about you hand me your backpack?"

01:00:31

And I could see this pride fight in his 14 year old mind.

01:00:37

"I don't want to be the one who can't do it.

01:00:41

I don't want to be the one who can't carry the weight."

01:00:43

I could see it. I could see him wrestling.

01:00:45

And so I went, I went again, I said, "Hey, hey buddy,

01:00:50

I would love to carry the weight for you."

01:00:56

He finally said, Okay, dad."

01:00:58

He unclipped his pack and handed it to me.

01:01:00

I put it on my back, lifted him up,

01:01:02

and together we walked the miles back to the trailhead.

01:01:06

I'm telling you, you have a Father

01:01:09

who's so much better than that.

01:01:12

Who as much as I would love to carry the weight for Eli,

01:01:15

he would love to carry your weight so much more.

01:01:20

But you have to hand it to him.

01:01:22

He's not going to take it from you.

01:01:24

You have to hand it to him.

01:01:26

I'm going to give you a moment right now to do that.

01:01:28

Earlier, we brought the list.

01:01:30

We made the list of our burdens. We brought them to mind.

01:01:33

I want you to get back out that list,

01:01:35

that note in your phone or that piece of paper you you wrote on.

01:01:38

I'm going to walk you through practically

01:01:41

how to hand them to him.

01:01:45

And to do this, we're going to use our imaginations.

01:01:48

Your imagination is a powerful tool.

01:01:50

You can access things that are true

01:01:52

that you can't see with your imagination.

01:01:56

Jesus all the time used imagination.

01:01:58

He would tell stories, parables,

01:02:00

have people visualize things to explain who he is

01:02:03

and how to engage with him.

01:02:05

We're going to do something similar right now.

01:02:08

I want you to look at that list and just read it through.

01:02:13

Those are the weights that you carry on your back.

01:02:19

Now close your eyes and imagine you're on a trail

01:02:24

and you're hiking, and on your back is a heavy pack.

01:02:31

Feel the shoulder straps pulling down on your shoulders.

01:02:37

Feel the ache in your lower back, the strain in your legs,

01:02:44

the breath in your lungs that comes hard.

01:02:49

As you're hiking, you notice something.

01:02:53

There's someone coming up on the trail next to you.

01:02:58

You turn and it's Jesus.

01:03:02

He says, "Hey, how about we go sit down

01:03:06

on the side of the trail for just a minute?"

01:03:10

Imagine pulling over and sitting down with him.

01:03:16

You take off your pack

01:03:18

and you put it on the ground in front of you.

01:03:22

And then Jesus turns and he says, "Hey, what's in the pack?"

01:03:28

Open the top and take out the first burden,

01:03:32

whichever is top of mind for you.

01:03:38

Maybe it's the one you've been trying not to think about,

01:03:41

but as you did the exercise earlier,

01:03:43

it just came back in full force.

01:03:47

Or maybe you woke up this morning thinking about it

01:03:49

even when you didn't want it to.

01:03:53

Jesus says, tell me about it.

01:03:56

What's that burden and what does it feel like to carry it?

01:04:02

Tell him right now.

01:04:14

Jesus is incredibly present as you were telling him,

01:04:19

he was locked in with you, kind eyes, smile on his face,

01:04:25

listening and nodding.

01:04:29

When you're done, he says, "Hey.

01:04:32

How about you hand it to me?

01:04:36

About you let me carry that weight for you?

01:04:40

He extends his hands out.

01:04:45

Give him the burden.

01:04:48

Right now in your imagination place it in his hands.

01:04:57

It's crazy, He seems happy to have it.

01:05:01

He smiles and puts it into his pack,

01:05:05

and then he turns back to you.

01:05:08

He says, "hey, how about you hand me the whole bag?"

01:05:14

Imagine just scooting that pack from in front of you

01:05:17

to in front of him, all your burdens.

01:05:24

He picks it up, slings it onto his back,

01:05:29

stands and offers you his hand, pulls you to your feet,

01:05:35

says, "Hey, do you feel lighter?"

01:05:38

The weight's gone from your shoulders.

01:05:41

Stand up straight.

01:05:43

I want you to in your seat just stretch your back.

01:05:46

Feel what it feels like to not carry the weight.

01:05:53

He says, "Why don't we walk together?

01:05:56

I'll show you your job and I'll carry the burden."

01:06:02

Father, this is what we want.

01:06:05

We want to be the people who carry the weight

01:06:09

you've designed us for,

01:06:10

not the weight you haven't designed us for.

01:06:12

God, would you train us now and over these next four weeks

01:06:19

to be a people who readily, easily, and excitable,

01:06:23

hand you the burdens of our life?

01:06:26

Stop us from taking them back.

01:06:29

Lord, retrain how we play this game.

01:06:32

Four weeks from now, we want to be a people

01:06:34

who are light and free in a way we never have been before.

01:06:40

We trust you to do this work, God,

01:06:42

and we invite you to come near.

01:06:45

Thank you for being a God who loves us,

01:06:47

serves us, and carries the weight. Amen.

01:06:52

- A weight that we don't have to carry, sign me up.

01:06:55

And listen, as you head into your week,

01:06:57

we want to help you keep making space for Jesus

01:07:00

in the middle of everyday life that you're going to experience

01:07:02

now and the rest of this week.

01:07:04

So we've created a few simple resources for you.

01:07:07

First, a guided audio called Be Still.

01:07:11

You can find it on Spotify and Apple Music.

01:07:14

Second, we made a background or a lock screen for your phone

01:07:18

so you could accidentally memorize this

01:07:20

for the next four weeks,

01:07:21

or you could purposefully.

01:07:23

- On purpose. - On purpose

01:07:24

by making it your lock screen on your phone.

01:07:26

And you can keep Matthew 11 scripture

01:07:28

at the top of your mind every time you get on your phone.

01:07:32

So you can grab both of those easiest

01:07:35

by texting "more" to 301301.

01:07:38

- And one more thing, actually,

01:07:40

two more things for Anywhere folks.

01:07:42

I did a call out to a few of you individually

01:07:46

earlier in the service.

01:07:47

So I've gotten like all sorts of hate texts from the rest of you.

01:07:50

Like, "Why didn't you say hi to me?"

01:07:52

So one in particular, Sophie Cotner, I see you.

01:07:56

We love your family. We know you're there.

01:07:58

But the other thing is we've got Anywhere folks

01:08:01

that we want to invite you to Anywhere Weekend on the road.

01:08:04

So if you've always wanted to meet those people

01:08:07

you see on screen or know about out there,

01:08:09

we're going to have great laughs.

01:08:10

We're going to have great food. We're going to learn together.

01:08:13

It's going to be amazing.

01:08:14

But this is your last week to sign up.

01:08:16

So it's August 28-30 in Sandusky on Lake Erie.

01:08:20

It's going to be beautiful. Can't wait to see you.

01:08:23

Please sign up. Can't wait to see you there.

01:08:25

- Sign up. And hey, thanks for joining us.

01:08:27

We'll see you back here next weekend

01:08:29

as we continue learning what it looks like

01:08:31

to carry life differently.

01:08:33

- See ya. We're out.

You Don't Have to Live Life Exhausted

Welcome to the Weekend-Follow Up!

Prayer

Bonus Questions

That’s it for this week - see you next time!

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